Monday, July 19, 2010

The Elekk & the King

This is a shared topic from Blog Azeroth started by Strumwulf. The theme is to roleplay a scene involving your mount. I chose my shaman Anaia and her elekk. It's a lighthearted first-person piece culminating in the Battle for Undercity.

Fatso and I were not love at first sight. Nuh, uh. The best thing I could say about him when I got him was “at least his thighs are bigger than mine.” It’s not that I didn’t want a mount, because I would have loved a unicorn or something but the elekk trader up at Exodar didn’t have any in stock and I was getting pretty damn tired of walking everywhere.

My bargain basement buddy and I didn’t get along at first. For a start, elekk poop is huge! I’m not scoopin’ that up, no thank you. I’d try and make him go before I took him anywhere but he was pretty uncooperative about it. We kind of barely tolerated each other for a while; he got me where I needed to get to and I’d stable him in town so he could play with all the good looking mounts.

We ended up in Stormwind for a bit. Whenever I tried to move on, some human would give me a task to do and there we’d go again. Don’t really know why it’s so hard for them to pick their own damn apples but I figure humans are a bit on the short side. Not as bad as dwarves, mind you, especially the skinny ones with pink hair, but not much is. I don’t really get them, but oops, I’m digesting from my story, sorry. 

Sormwind is kind of fun. There’s lots of people around and this big harbor and some boats and they have a king. His name is Varian Wrynn and he's a buddy of mine.

Once I was done picking apples, we migrated to Northrend because I heard they don’t have apples and I wanted a break. Fatso and I rode all around this place called Dragonblight where there are real, actual dragons and we were vanquishing evil and stuff and having a lot of adventures that didn't involve fruit.

In Northrend it’s really cold to fly, like your wings freeze or something. But Fatso never got cold ‘cause elekks are fat and that’s kind of awesome. Also, he doesn’t have wings and can’t fly, which solved that problem too! He was always there for me. At night, I’d curl up against his big belly and he’d wrap his trunk around me. His breath didn’t bother me so much after a bit.

Eventually I had to go deliver a shield to this King Val guy so we trampled back to Stormwind. His name isn’t really Val but I kept calling him that until Lady Jaina whispered me. How embarrassing. So anyways, his name is V-a-r-i-a-n and he lives in this big keep. Elekks aren’t allowed in the keep which is kind of dumb because why call it a keep if you can’t keep things in it?

King Val said he got word of my adventures - he probably meant the dragons, not the apples - and he wanted me to go on a diplomatic mission. After they explained what diplomatic meant (which I forgot again, sorry) I totally agreed.

We went to this place called Orgrimmar which is full of orgs (kind of like giant goblins) and we got to meet another king called Thrall, except Lady Jaina did ALL the talking and I couldn’t get a word in. I’m sure she’s nice, but whatever, it got boring so Fatso and I snuck out and rode around the city and guards wanted to kill me but Thrall was like “No, don’t kill her!” which was cool because they didn’t.

Next I got to go with my buddies King Val and Lady Jaina to invade this place called Undercity which is like a city ‘cept it’s underground because the people who live there are dead but they aren’t really dead and they aren’t ghosts either which is good because ghosts are scary.

King Val is really cool, except at holding aggro, so Lady Jaina put this buff on me and basically I just healed through it all while we destrimated these armies of slimes. Fatso didn’t like the sewers very much and he hid behind me, trying to look incos... inconspick... look like he wasn’t there. He’s so cute.

We finally broke into the city proper and found some apothemist. The king was mad at him because of how he killed Bolvar. To be honest, I didn’t catch who Bolvar was but he must have been King Val’s mount which explains why the king was so mad like I would be too if someone killed Fatso. Whenever I got aggro on his minions, Fatso stomped them for me which was handy since King Val wasn’t paying much attention to the adds.

After the apothemist died, I couldn't really listen to what was going on ‘cause I was busy looting. All of a sudden Lady Jaina started yelling at the king who was running off. Woah! I began chasing King Val who went up this tunnel and then this other tunnel and we got to this big round room and there was my other king buddy, Thrall. I waved but he didn’t remember me.

Soon everyone started yelling and getting angry and it got a bit confusing. Then Lady Jaina came in and was all like “it did not have to be like this” except no one would tell me what “this” meant 'cause they were busy shouting and King Val drew his sword and then Thrall got up and he had all these orgs with him and I got a bit scared when suddenly Fatso sensed my fear and ran in and stomped the entire room - which froze everybody - I swear to Elune!

This gave Lady Jaina time to teleport us back to Stormwind and King Val was all grateful to me and Lady Jaina but he didn’t even mention Fatso. It’s a bit unfair since he saved his life, but whatever, Fatso is a hero to me. I don’t know many mounts that have saved a king so he’s pretty damn special and my best friend forever.


  1. Haha! Good one! I do enjoy rambling first person stories. :)

  2. Thanks, it's a little long for a one-trick pony but it does cover a 20 part quest chain in its entirety.